September 13, 2010

Deep In My Heart I Feel The Pain . . .


More than 3 months now since my beloved dad left us. It's my responsibility to take care of my mom and she now staying with me. Everything changed in such a short time, slowly I have to adjust my life and continue my journey without him. After some discussion with my mom and my brother, we decided to move out all the stuff at my parent's house and rent it out since no one are going stay there anymore. Each time when I go to that house all of the memories of the past comes back to me one by one. Each and every part of the house reminds me of him a lot (my beloved dad)... I MISS HIM so much!! really miss him... Old photographs of him, his clothes, his writing on the books, the sofa he used to sit and his favourite old CDs etc reminds me of him. My heart feels so pain..I don't know how to describe it here, only who have lost someone so dear can understand my feelings. I'm sad that my dad have leave us for a better place and now I have to say Good Bye to my own HOME. A place where I grown up, a place that's full of memories of my younger time which I'm so familiar with. It's really disheartening to see how my HOME look like now. Things will not be the same now & forever. I'M SO SAD...

p/s: I'm tired after doing all the clean up today but deep inside me, my heart feels so pain than just tired ...

AMY

5 comments:

Ipoh Ah Boy said...

Hi..just stumbled upon your blog...I guess people have to go through cycle of life and to me, I take it as the beginning of something else greater once a person departed..do take it easy..I am sure your dad would want you to carry on with life..happily

Adrian & Aeiween said...

Tin.. reading your post i am now very sad too.. i miss uncle also.. still remember last time when i was a little girl i always went to visit your house... during that time always like to "kacau" your parents. Feel so sorry to you and your mom too. Anyway when you are going to visit your house again remember to bring me along.. because i think maybe it is my last time to visit your house...and i know it won't be the same anymore if you are rent it out...

TINTIN said...

@ipoh ah boy - Yes, life still goes on no matter what. I know my dad now should be in a better place but sometime when the feeling of missing him just comes naturally and I can't help but feels sad. I always think time will heals, he will always remain in my heart forever & ever. Thank you!

TINTIN said...

@ aeiween - Yes, will not be the same anymore without my dad. Next year CNY will never be the same also.. I never think this year CNY will be the last one I celebrate at that house...so much memories of that house for me.

audrey said...

Hi...i normally don't write comments on blog sites. After reading what your wrote, I have tears rolling down my cheeks as I am typing now. I just lost my dad too 3 months ago. I still miss him v much. I can relate to how you feel.